Once upon a time, I had all these products for sale but took them offline for a while.  I’m glad to announce the store is back open.  I’m extremely bummed that they don’t make the license plate frame anymore!  I will say that I sold one of those (no, not to myself).  So in the great state of NJ, there is a TransitHell.com license plate frame.  Not even I have one!

You can order all sorts of goodies with the fantastic Transithell.com logo on them.  Apparel, housewares, stickers and magnets and even baby gear!

Take a look around.  I hope you find something you’ll enjoy and wear proudly as a commuter at the Transithell.com Store.  

I’ve spent the better part of the past 5 months without a commute into NYC. Since I’m between offices in NY, NJ and my house, I find that when I do commute, I’m carrying my life with me. When I was commuting full time, I did my best to not carry much with me for the commute. I would only have a laptop with me if I knew I had to do something on the train or if I was travelling the next day. I’d have my music in my pocket and something to read in my hand. That’s about it. For commuting, it’s better this arrangement rather than something from my pocket in my hand. Just sayin…

Now that I’m only going in once every other week or so, I’ve noticed certain things. What I’d like to focus on for this post is the incredible lack of regard people have for their own bag. This goes beyond those who are unfortunate to have an aisle seat and pummeled by the people walking through the train. Just the other day, I was minding my own business on the morning commute in my inner two-sy. This guy next to me got up at Newark to get off. Of course, he had to stand up as we approached the station to get himself ready. The aisle was standing room only so this guy really had nowhere to go until the train pulled in and people started to de-train.

Picture his movement. He stands up and reaches down to pick up his bag off the floor. We are in the rear of the train so he’s going to get off behind us and therefore needs to turn around. Keep in mind though, the aisle is full so he has to do a 180 confined to his space in the twosy … with a bag. Can you see where this is going? Yeah, right into my shoulder. So now he’s standing there, facing the back of the seat, waiting for the train to stop so the aisle clears and as the train sways, his bag is hitting me in the shoulder. I looked up at him and he happened to look at him. I have him the “Can you get your stank ass piece of shit bag off of me?” look and he actually did. He moved it to the other side of him to rest against the person in the aisle. Hey, it wasn’t me so what did I care? The point is, even though he stopped pissing me off, he didn’t address the issue which is how to properly carry a bag.

Most people just don’t understand that a bag is an extension of themselves. You shouldn’t put your bag where you wouldn’t put your limb such as on my shoulder. There are violations of this everywhere. When you walk down the stairs to a crowded platform, bags are always in the way, getting caught and disrupting the stream of people. The off the shoulder walkers need to understand that the bag adds an extra foot onto the side of their bodies. This means that their symmetry is off and they will bump people if they aren’t paying attention. You well know, most don’t.

I will say that we do have another fellow commuter who does know how to handle her bag in public. She’s talked about it on her own blog. You know her here as TrescaGirl and I’d like to introduce her as a guest blogger (If anyone is interested in an account here, let me know). Look for new posts from her here in the near future.

Welcome, TrescaGirl!

So yesterday was the last day of full time NJ Transit commuting (for this period of my life…I know Yellowbird expects me back). I’d have to say I’m still kind of numb about it. It really hasn’t set in yet. Since I’m keeping my same job, there isn’t really closure of switching jobs. I packed up my office yesterday as if I was leaving. I threw out a lot of crap, gave away more crap and turned in my key. Even as I sit here now, I don’t feel any different. Like that first drop of a huge rollercoaster, you can only anticipate so much but all you can do is wait until you are immersed in the free fall before you truly know what it feels like. That’s what I picture this week to be like.

My thoughts are scattered right now since I have so much to say. Let’s start with the obvious. My NJ Transit commuting experience for my last day. Both going in and coming home were plagued with delays. Going in, there was a dead train in New Brunswick. I think the train arrived somewhere around 45 minutes late. Coming home also had its share of delays. I don’t even remember how long those delays were. Maybe 20 minutes? This past week while riding the rails, my thoughts were elsewhere way beyond the shitty tin can that I was sitting in - ABCD.

Over the past 4 years on this site, there’s been countless discussions about fare collection. I had a minor dilemma since yesterday was February 1st. My afternoon train wasn’t covered by a monthly ticket. I purchased my one way, non peak fare in the morning as I prepared to ride my last train as another tourist. Ironically enough, my last day, there wasn’t a conductor in sight on the 6:13 NEC train and I got to ride for free. Perhaps that was just NJ Transit’s appreciation for all my service. I’ve posted a picture of that ticket.

In thinking about the time I’ve spent on the actual train (which can probably be increased by a good 15% because of the delays), I put together some figures. They are disturbing.

Approximate times commuting:

1997: 3 months from New Brunswick (55 minutes & $180 - I think)
1997 - 2000: 31 months from Metropark (40 minutes & $135 - I think)
2000 - 2001: 19 months on the PATH (non included here)
2001 - 2008: 76 months from Jersey Ave (60 minutes & $250 - average since the rates went up)

Of course you double it because those are 1 way figures and then approximate 20 days a month and this turns into a total of 3,976 hours ON the train. This is the equivalent of 165 days of my life sitting next to germ infested, nose picking, hygiene neglecting, cellphone talking, close sitting, space violating strangers. It’s like a 6 month prison sentence dragged out over 10 years. To make this worse, this has cost me $23,000. Hopefully this doesn’t depress others too much. I know there’s a lot of people who have taken the train longer than me.

Another interesting thing that happened on my commute that was an interesting coincidence. I would always buy my metrocard in $40 bulks. At somepoint on my current card, I took a PATH train trip so I had a miscellaneous 50 cents on there. My last swipe at the MTA turnstile on Friday night left me with exactly a 50 cent balance. I thought that was quite fitting. Going out the way I started.

So there you have it. Another chapter in my life closed. I’ll certainly be reporting on what it’s like to have 4 hours of my life back on a daily basis. I wanted to thank everyone who has contributed to the 5,000+ comments on the site. It was also fun to have people trying to find me over the years. For those of you who did, nice work. Since NJ Transit sucks as much as ever, I’m sure there will be no shortage of content for the website come this Monday.

Good luck commuting everyone.

When I first saw this NJ Transit “Customer Satisfaction Survey” survey, I knew for a fact that I would be able to take it and make a complete mockery of it. What I wasn’t sure though is how exactly I was going to do such a thing. So many possibilities and so little time. So here’s my approach of this long article. Settle in because it might get a little bumpy:

1) Take the current NJ Transit “Customer Satisfaction Survey” on njtransit.com
2) Save my answers
3) Look up my saved “NJ Transit Passenger Survey” from Junish 2005
4) Do some comparisons
5) Make fun of this horseshit attempt of satisfying the customers

For those who never saw this, take a look here to review my results and analysis of the “NJ Transit Passenger Survey” of 2005. In this survey, we were asked 44 total questions and what I did was comment on all of them and assign a point value of what I thought were valuable questions where NJ Transit could take that feedback and actually do something to improve our lives. What I determined was that 87% of the questions were absolutely useless for us passengers. You can read it for yourself to get a better perspective of what I am talking about. Ultimately, my ending was this:

… Nowhere did you ask me if you thought security at my train station was adequate, if the bathrooms on the trains worked (not that I’d ever go in them), if the conditions of the trains were suitable, if the climate on the train was to my liking or if I would pay for internet access aboard the train. You weren’t looking to improve customer satisfaction based on this “Passenger Survey”. If you were, you need to try a lot harder to convince me you care or will do anything with any of those answers to improve my commuting experience.

Ok, so let’s see our new set of questions, shall we?

Here’s the intro to the NJ Transit “Customer Satisfaction Survey”. Ok, already a flag. Why change the name from “NJ Transit Passenger Survey”? To me, “Customer Satisfaction Survey” means let’s ask questions (survey) to see how satisfied (Satisfaction) my customers (you get the point) are. I’ve digressed already and haven’t even started. Ok, so here’s the intro:

Our goal is to make NJ TRANSIT bus, rail and light rail your preferred choice for travel. Please fill out this short survey between July 9 and July 22. Your responses will help us make informed decisions to improve your travel experience.

Ok, you know me and I can’t keep my mouth shut for a moment. Read how this is worded. Our goal is to make NJ Transit … your preferred choice for travel. Translations - We need to suck less than your other options. For the majority of the people that take NJ Transit (I’d argue go to NYC), the choices are:

1) Take a train or bus - Direct line without traffic
2) Drive - There’s only one thing worse than NJ roads and that’s NJ hair
3) Walk - Ok, yeah I’m getting silly now
4) Bike - Do they have bike lanes in the tunnels? I suppose you would choke to death from fumes
5) Boat - Some people do this from the Atlantic Highlands and Perth/South Amboy. Probably a good deal but not very suitable for the masses
6) Helicopter - Ripper’s got some bling but not this much.

Ok, there are the options. It’s pretty easy to suck less than the competition. I’d probably take the train if it didn’t have a roof and I had to hold onto straps so I didn’t fly off. It doesn’t mean I enjoy it. Anyway, this is a nice start to the survey with some good PR spin.

Here are the questions I answered with my answers and some commentary. I didn’t bother with the points system since you’ll see two years later, NJ Transit still asks dumb questions that have nothing to do with customer satisfaction. As a matter of fact, I’d argue that the attempt in 2005 was a bit more together in terms of appearing to care. This one is pretty obvious. See for yourself.

1. Please select the NJ TRANSIT service you travel on most frequently:
Rail (Choooo choooo)
2. What Rail Line do you most frequently ride?
North East Corridor (we brake for Amtrak)
3. When do you typically travel?
Weekday peak (6 AM - 10 AM & 4 PM - 7 PM)
4. What is your most frequent destination Station?
NY Penn Station (You know this by my monthly)
5. How often do you make this trip?
4 or more times a week (Again, monthly boy here)
6. What is the main purpose of your most frequent trip?
Work (I loved the Casino visit choice)
7. What type of ticket do you typically use?
Monthly (ahha! You didn’t know)
8. For your typical trip, do you transfer to another mode or transit service?
Yes (Why should you care?)
9. For your typical trip, which of the following modes or transit services do you transfer to/from?
Please select all that apply… Other (Subway I think this is what they are asking? This really confused me)
10. Please rate your satisfaction on the QUALITY OF YOUR TRANSFER…
Quality of Transfer -0 (WTF does this mean?)
11. Please rate your satisfaction on the following attributes for the NJ TRANSIT Service you use most frequently. If any of the service attributes below do not apply to you, please leave that row blank. 0=NOT ACCEPTABLE; 5=ACCEPTABLE; 10=EXCELLENT (HAHAHA Notice I was able to crop off the 9’s and 10’s? In all fairness, this was the most useful part of it. Notice the high scores):

12. What is your overall satisfaction with NJ TRANSIT?
0=Not Acceptable 5=Acceptable 10=Excellent 0 (Didn’t you get the hint yet? You need me to really say it? Fine.)
13. Among the attributes of NJ TRANSIT service you just rated, please tell us the top three attributes most important to you, by selecting the attributes from the drop down menu in the boxes below. If you would like to add an attribute of service that is important to you, but is not listed, please select “Other” at the bottom of the choices and specify in the box on the following page.
a. On Time Performance
b. Seating Availability
c. Fares

14. How important is it to you to be able to conduct the following activities while riding NJ TRANSIT? (This was kind of an odd question, no? Can you really do anything else while sitting on a tin can? Maybe masturbate? Why not ask that?)

15. Are you … ?
Male
16. What is your age?
25 - 34 years
17. Are you of Spanish/Hispanic/Latino origin?
No (I said that in spanish too)
18. What is your race?
White
19. What is your occupation?
Manager/Professional
20. What is your approximate annual household income?
$150,000-$199,999 (Ripper still has bling)
21. Thank you for filling out the survey. If you would like to enter our drawing for an opportunity to win A FREE NJ TRANSIT MONTHLY BUS, RAIL, OR LIGHT RAIL PASS FOR THE DESTINATION OF YOUR CHOICE, please provide us your name, address, phone numbers and email address: Would you like to enter our drawing?
No ( I’ll let someone else get this ‘prize’. I love the ending PR spin too. Destination of your choice as if you are winning a trip to Hawaii or something.

So there you have it folks. That’s the best NJ Transit can do. Meanwhile, service I’d argue is at an all-time low. Seriously, I can’t go 3 days without one of my trains being late. The double decker smoke and mirrors is at an all time high. It was all the talk of NJ in 2006. We were getting new 30 year old technology. Let’s make a big deal out of it. So for 6 months, there’s one fucking train in service. One. Like 75 press releases about this. Then, last week….they add another! Two! Yay. What a relief. I ride the train every miserable weekday and I’ve SEEN (not rode) a double decker at most 5 times. Service alerts are a complete joke. Often I get them 20 minutes after a problem and they are full of brokn engrish and speling mystackes. Conductors are not collecting fares. Passengers are unsafe riding in vestibules and in aisles. One day one of these trains is going to fly off the tracks and it’s not going to be pretty.

Seriously, someone needs to really wake up and fix this disaster. Stop wasting money on these survey’s and just read this website. Take a look in the forums. There are very vocal people complaining about what’s really wrong. It’s free for you to use to make improvements. Please. We’re begging you.

I’m at a loss for words right about now. Say what you want about NJ Transit and how they blame Amtrak for everything under the sun that happens. I won’t complain about that anymore because I’ve done my share of complaining on this subject (Point fingers all you want…us commuters have one finger we’d like to point).

NJ Transit is a FUCKING disgrace. Period. A little harsh? Let me lay out the facts of tonight’s commute, shall I? You be the judge.

First off, let me just run a simple test. You’ll see why I need to do this in a few moments. I’m sending a test e-mail from my yahoo.com account to my transithell.com just to see how long it takes. Under 1 minute. OK. Benchmark set.

Here’s where it all started tonight:

Due to Amtrak signal problem, trains departing and arriving NYPS are subject to 10 - 15 minute delays.

Sent: 04:32 PM (Received at 4:41 PM)

I’m still at work at this point. Doesn’t at all seem that bad. Signal troubles these days are as common as Lindsay Lohan arrests. I got to Penn Station at 6:08 or so, just in time for my 6:13 train. As I walk down from the 7^th Avenue entrance, I see the first board with the timetable and 5 trains on standby. This will be another fun night I think to myself. As I walk by the newer NJ Transit concourse, it looks like this picture (courtesy of RVL_Girl). See, here’s the funny thing. This was taken on Tuesday. See, I wasn’t kidding how common delays are. I mean seriously. Imagine there was an emergency?

So I continue on my way down to the old NJ Transit waiting area and go down the stairs. It’s just wall to wall people. No idea if there is air on in the place because it feels and smells like a 3^rd world country.

Due to a disabled train in the tunnel, trains arriving into New York Penn Station are subject to 15 - 20 minute delays.

Sent: 06:04 PM (Received at 6:18 PM)

Ok, so was the first communication wrong in saying signal problems? Did the signal problems cause the disabled train? All I know is that disabled trains in tunnels is BAD news for us commuters. 2 tunnels. 1 out of service. You do the math. So here I am and there goes the 6:13 train. Cancelled.

Next up, the 6:34.

Update: Due to single tracking in the tunnel, trains arriving and departing NYPS are subject to 20 - 30 minute delays.

Sent: 06:22 PM (Received at 7:22 PM) - Are you seeing a pattern here?

No word on the cancelled train. There were others too. All I know is we are up to 30 minutes and seriously, my shirt was stuck to my back at this point.

Update: Due to single tracking in the tunnel, trains arriving and departing NYPS are subject to 30 - 40 minute delays.

Sent: 06:41 PM (Received at 7:38) – See these are useless because I’m not even getting these when they are needed.

Northeast Corridor #3973 (6:13pm from NYPS) Operating 25 minutes late near Secaucus.

Sent: 06:51 PM (Received at 7:38)

Huh?? The 6:13 train is 25 minutes late (getting out my calculator) puts us at 6:38. This was sent at 6:51. Either way, YOU ALREADY CANCELLED THE TRAIN like 40 minutes ago. Now I’m looking around for the candid cameras. Someone must be putting me on.

Northeast Corridor #3731 (6:32pm from NYPS) Operating 40 minutes late near Secaucus.

Sent: 06:53 PM (Received at 7:38)

Now I don’t even know what’s going on. All I know is I now have a decision in all of this fiasco. I can take the 6:32 or the 6:34. The 6:34 is the express train that would get me in sooner than the 6:34 (Yes, NJ Transit makes everything really complicated). Since the 6:13 was cancelled and the announcements in the station were only saying 10-15 minute delays, I figured that the 6:34 would be crowded but was still my best horse. The 6:32 is called (honestly, I have NO idea what time it is. I was about to have a heat stroke). I let the crowd rush to that train and I wait for the 6:34.

Northeast Corridor #3975 (6:34pm from NYPS) Cancelled, passengers to #3875 (6:47pm).

Sent: 07:17 PM (Received at 7:41)

Ripper, you asshole.

Update: Due to single tracking in the tunnel, trains arriving and departing NYPS are subject to 10 - 15 minute delays.

Sent: 07:22 PM (Received at 8:31)

It continues.

Northeast Corridor #3877 (7:13pm from NYPS) Operating 20 minutes late.

Sent: 07:49 PM (Received at 9:04)

I think I’m only subscribed to the NEC train messages. I can’t imagine what the other ones said. I’m sure they were just as comical because there was a bunch of trains cancelled. I had finally gotten on the 6:47 train that left at like 7:15 or something.

So, after all that, let’s recap what we’ve learned (outside of Amtrak being at fault for everything under the sun at NJ Transit):

1) NJ Transit communicates worse than if someone was trying to tell me the truth in Russian (for the record, I can’t speak Russian).

2) NJ Transit alerts are pretty damn useless because you don’t get them for like an hour after they send them which is like 20 minutes after the actual problem which is like 30 minutes after they cancel a train. (Yeah, I can’t even follow that either. Don’t bother going back. You’ll only hurt yourself).

3) After all this, yet again, nobody collected tickets on my train (I was on the 6:47, which left at like 7:15.

4) Someone who left work less than 2 hours before me got home before me. Big deal you say? Sure, he left before me. He lives in New Hampshire.

5) I have NO confidence that the employees of NJ Transit could handle an emergency.

Seriously. This was half the commute today. Thousands of people were yet again delayed for long periods of time tonight. Keep blaming Amtrak for signals and infrastructure. Why can’t you send e-mails? Why can’t you make announcements? Why can’t you get things right? Please? Just once. I’m begging someone to fix this.

Before I post my analysis of this year’s Customer Service Survey, I thought it would be fun to revisit an older post from 2005. Some of you might have looked at this in 2005 but it’s a good refresher to show that NJ Transit really hasn’t done a thing in terms of us passengers over 2 years and service is just as shitty as it was 2 years ago. I’ll be posting the results of this years survey in a few days.

————————————-

My answers to the NJ Transit Passenger Survey and analysis of why 87% of the questions were absolutely useless for us passengers.

I warn you now this is very long but well worth the read.

1. At what station did you board the train today (Jersey Ave)?
Are you kidding me? If you collect proper fares, you know exactly the origin and destination of every rider. There are a few of these which I’ll just flag my analysis as ‘Proof of incompetence’ (0 points)

2. What was the scheduled departure time for this train (07:44am I think)?
‘Proof of incompetence’ - Again, they should know this. How about you ask a relevant question if you are going to waste our time with data you should already have -You’re your train depart on time? (0 points)

3. How did you get to the train station (Drove alone and parked)?
Ok, some general demographics? Seems a lot like information that the DOT could use. (½ point)

4. What type of parking did you use (Station Lot Parking)?
Again general demographics? Seems a lot like information that the individual stations could use. (½ point)

5. Where did you begin this trip today (Home)?
Whoever is responsible for wording this question, please write to me and explain to me why it wasn’t phrased - Why did you use NJ Transit today? See, you need to ask me where I ended the trip and waste my friggin’ time. (1 point - you are lucky I don’t penalizing you for being inefficient)

6. What is that address (My home address)?
I know, you want to find me and blow up my house for running TransitHell.com. You already have my address so that can’t be it. How about just a zip code if anything? Save us the time. (0 points - for making me write my address)

7. At what station did you get off the NJ Transit Train (NY Penn Station)?
‘Proof of incompetence’ (0 points)

8. Where is your final destination (work)?
This goes with #5 and if you asked that questions properly, you would know this. (0 points - I already gave you 1 point on #5 very reluctantly…don’t push it)

9. What is that address (my office)?
Ok, again with the addresses. Are you planning on building a directory service or something? Do you want the floor of my office too? How about what time I go to lunch? (0 points)

Now there’s a section “If going to NY… (yippppppee me…more data)

10. How will you complete your in-bound trip to NY today (Stay on the train to NY Penn)?
Ok, you are seeing how many passengers you lose to the PATH & Bus? I’ll give you a point (1 point)

11. Once in NY, how will you reach your final destination (NYC Subway)?
What do you care. You are NJ Transit and you are out of jurisdiction (0 points)

I get to skip the “If going to NJ…”

13. Are you using Secaucus Junction today to transfer to another train (No)?
Ok, 8 people use this train station. Do you really need to waste a question to find that out? Shouldn’t you know based on fares how many people use it? (0 points)

I get to skip 14 because I answered No to #13.

15. How do you usually travel for the other half of your trip (Same)?
I have a monthly because I go in 2 directions. Go away. (0 points for aggravating me)

16. What was the scheduled departure time of this train?
Same as #2, Proof of incompetence (0 points)

17. What was the main purpose of this trip (Work)?
In my case you asked this in #8. (0 points)

18. What type of train ticket are you using for this trip (Monthly)?
Ok, first off, this is another Proof of incompetence. You collected my fare. (0 points)

19. How did you purchase the ticket for this trip(Mail-Tik)?
Proof of incompetence (0 points)

20. How often do you make this trip (4 or more times a week)?
I’m really embarrassed for you that you really don’t have many points so out of pity I’m giving you a point (1 point)

21. In what month and year did you first begin using NJ Transit trains (05/97)?
Ok, I see what you are getting at here however there is a GIANT hole in your data. What does this show? That I’ve been a rider for 8 years? You didn’t ask me about living in Jersey City for 2 years when I took the PATH. This was an ambiguous question with no evance to the answer. (0 points)

22. Why did you start making this trip by train (I answered I moved)?
This is confusing. Why did I start making the original trip by train or why do I now make the trip at the station I go from? After I graduated college, I took the train from New Brunswick, then I moved and took the train from MetroPark, then I moved and took the PATH from Jersey City, then I moved and take the train from Jersey Ave. Does that answer your vague question? Ok, now what are you gonna do with that answer? (0 points)

23. What was your previous method of travel before you began using the train (Other, N/A)?
Again, did you mean this current route or do you mean ever? If you mean ever (which I took it as, the answer is none because I was in college and was too drunk to take the train. (0 points)

24. This is a nice multipart answer from 0 (not acceptable) to 10 (excellent). It was too much to type so here’s my results. For the most part they are harmless questions. I’ll give a point just because it’s just too much to analyze (1 point)

25. How likely are you to recommend this service to a friend or ative (Do not Know)?
I have MAJOR issues with the question. I understand in customer service satisfaction you want to be at the satisfaction level of someone willing to recommend their service to a ative. That’s when you know you have a good product in a competitive world. However, this is different and this question is pointless. NJ Transit has a monopoly. Sure you might argue you can take a bus, bike, plane or car but those are alternatives to train service. Just like when the government broke up the phone company did that mean there weren’t other ways for people to communicate? If someone asked me, Hey Ripper, I need to go to NYC and they live in Edison, I would recommend they take the train. It’s the best method. I’m not recommending the service because it’s a good service. I’m recommending it because it’s the only one. (0 points)26. Based on your travel experience in the past year, would you say that service has….(Remained the same)
Whoever convinced NJ Transit to ask this question should be selling bridges. Upfront it appears this question is fine. How are we doing compared to last year? However, nowhere does it gauge my expectation. My answer of service remaining the same seems like it would be a good stat for them to use. If everyone answers this then at least they aren’t getting worse. However, with rising costs and advances in technology, I expect service over the course of the year to improve. So in asking this question I now feel worse about their service because to me the expectation is now worse. (0 points)

27. Which of the following statements best applies to you (I use the train because it is the best choice for me, even though there are other ways I could make this trip)?
This question directs people to a forced answer which is the one I chose. One other choice was “I have no other way to travel, so I use the train”. Everyone has other ways to travel. Busses are far more frequent and available. Also, most people have 2 legs and can walk. Is it convenient and practical? No. But it proves the first question meaningless. The other answer was “I usually use another type of transportation but I occasionally take the train.” WTF is this? They used usually and occasionally in the same sentence. Hey NJT, I usually get to the train station on time and occasionally get to work on time. (0 points)

28. Indicate how often you travel to the following destinations in a typical year (Newark Airport, 5 - by train 1, Meadowlands 12)
Why ask me about the Meadowlands? Are they planning on saying X people go to the Meadowlands per year so we should put a train there? What else would they ask for? FYI, you need to also ask if I’d take the train if it was available. Since most of my trips there are for Giants games, I would not take the train. (0 points)

Since I’m not using Hamilton Station, I skip to 31.

31. Are you …(Male)?
Are you planning on finding me a female transit partner that is skinny and smells good? I didn’t think so (0 points)

32. What is your age? (25-34)
If I answered something else, does it make my train show up on time? Of course you need this information to sell advertising on the train. Would you put up TransitHell.com posters if I paid for them? (0 points)

33. Are you of Spanish/Hispanic/Latino origin (No)?
Ask fucking Darwin (0 points)

34. What is your race (White)?
You couldn’t have combined 33 & 34? Haven’t you realized I don’t like you wasting my time? (0 points)

35. Do you speak a language, other than English, at home (Other - PHP, Visual Basic, JAVA)?
Seriously, why do you give a rats ass what I do at home? Since you asked a retarded question, I gave you a retarded answer. (0 points)

36. Do you have a physical condition that makes it difficult for you to use the train (No)?
You finally asked something that is relevant. (1 point)

37. How many people, including yourself, live in your household (Two)?
Damn, I thought maybe we had a shot for 2 in a row. (0 points)

38. Are there any children in your household (No)?
Although one might argue this answer (0 points)

39. Do you own or rent your current home (own)?
Will you be paying my mortgage? Would you like the bank routing number as well? (0 points)

40. How long have you been at your current address (2-5 years)?
In a way I answered what you needed to know by #21 & #22 which were also not helpful. (0 points)

41. How important was NJ Transit rail service in choosing your home location (Not Important)?
I guess in a way you can do something useful with this information although I’m not exactly sure what. Are you going to start building houses? (0 points)

42. Do you take advantage of commuter tax benefits, such as TransitChek or WageWorks to pay any part of your commuting expenses (Yes, $110)?
This should be rephrased - Do you get tax relief from other programs because we sure won’t help? (0 points)

43. Does your business/employer reimburse you for any part of your commuting expense (No)?
If you find anyone who answers yes, can you let me know so I can go work with them? This is as relevant as the previous question. (0 points)

44. What is your approximate annual household income ($150,000 - $199,999)
Yeah Ripper’s got bling. (0 points)

You then asked for my home address so you can enter me in a chance for a free monthly pass. This thing was so damn long you forgot already you asked me for my address in #6. How about you ask me for a phone number and if I win, call me for my info on where to send it? I thought so.

So there you have it. I give you 6 points out of a possible 44 or 13% relevance. Nowhere did you ask me if you thought security at my train station was adequate, if the bathrooms on the trains worked (not that I’d ever go in them), if the conditions of the trains were suitable, if the climate on the train was to my liking or if I would pay for internet access aboard the train. You weren’t looking to improve customer satisfaction based on this “Passenger Survey”. If you were, you need to try a lot harder to convince me you care or will do anything with any of those answers to improve my commuting experience.

I just had the pleasure of taking the “Customer Satisfaction Survey” on http://www.njtransit.com (hurry, you have July 22 to waste your time).  It was total bullshit.  Actually, so much hot steamy poo that Ripper is working on something fun.  You see, back in the summer of 2005 during the last useless survey, I took notes (some of you might remember my analysis).  What I’m doing now is working on putting those results together with tonight’s survey to see where we are 2 years later.  To be fair, I didn’t read the 2005 results prior to taking the 2007 one.  As a matter of fact, I still didn’t refresh my memory yet.  I just know that service is as bad as it’s ever been.  I’ll hopefully finish it in the next few days.  I will say that this might be the most thorough post ever made so stay tuned…

Just to give you a sense of the insanity:

19. Are you of Spanish/Hispanic/Latino origin?
No (I said that in spanish too)

20. What is your race?
White

Yeah, seriously they broke this question apart.  To start, does anyone have any clue?
As NJ Transit’s motto says…The Way To Go.

Oh, and can you update the footer on the NJ Transit website to ‘Copyright 2007 NJ TRANSIT’