I saw this item on the “News of the Weird” site. It’s called “Thinning the Herd”. As you’ll see, it’s very aptly named:

“The latest pedestrian-train collisions: (1) a 30-year-old woman in Little Rock, Ark., in October, who was walking along the tracks carrying a beer and listening to music with headphones, and (2) an 18-year-old man in Kenosha, Wis., in September, who, probably inebriated, first left the tracks well in front of the train but then returned, stood on the tracks, and made a finger gesture at the conductor.”–[KATV-TV (Little Rock), 10-17-06] [LaCrosse Tribune-AP, 9-30-06]

Last night (Weds 10/4) on the 6:03 Trenton express. There were a handful of IDIOTS who didn’t realize what train they were getting on (ASK SOMEONE, DIPSHITS!) did NOT stop at Jersey Ave or New Brunswick. So they whined and petition the conductor to make a special stop just for them–successfully!! This is annoying enough as it is–the fact that the whole f’ing train has to slow down because of a few morons, but to make matters worse, after the unscheduled stop, the conductor (or whomever) has the BALLS to get on the PA to apologize for the slow speed because AMTRAK HAD FORCED THEM TO USE THE LOCAL TRACK! Give me a fucking break! If you’re going to be little shits and cave in to every asshole who doesn’t know who to look at a monitor at least own up to it!!!

It was the first day back for the elementary school along the main road out of my neighborhood. While I was braced for the traffic, I’d forgotten the idiocy of some of these parents. Some of them are just popping into the middle of street with their kids, not even looking. And you wonder why the kids have such poor street-crossing skills. I mean, I know as a driver you’re supposed to be careful when it comes to pedestrians and especially school zones. But I think the pedestrians have a little responsibility themselves. Word of advice…look first, before you become a speed bump.

My wife and son (teenager) went into the city today and took the 7:29 NEC train home. They were sitting across the aisle from a mother, father, and son (older. maybe in his 20’s). The mom was drinking beer out of a paper bag. The son kept making disgusting snorting and vomit noises. He told the mom that he was going to tell her some story, but she protested and told him that she always wants to throw up when she hears it. That’s when my wife decided enough was enough and got up to move to another car. But before she did, she told the family that “they were disgusting, and acting like assholes”. Way to go!!! Later on, someone else who had been sitting in that car moved to where my wife and son were, so I guess trailer trash family didn’t understand the message.

Last night I took the 11:44 train after the Yankee game and a guy in his 30’s sat in front of me and started slamming all his stuff down on the seat and on the floor. He obviously wasn’t happy about something. After we got into NJ he called a friend on the phone and thus began an hour-long call (that’s when I finally got up and moved) where every other word was “f**king”. It turns out though that the guy was married and his wife didn’t come home the night before. She called him at work that day and said those dreaded words “we have to talk”. It was then that he found out that his wife decided to move to Georgia, and some guy decided to move with her. She also asked for a divorce. This guy was just devastated. I tried to concentrate on my paper but could hear his whole sad story (the other guy was a dirtbag who already had 3 DWI’s; he supported her through her Master’s Degree; he gave up his job flying for the Air Force for her). I really felt bad for this guy because it seems to have caught him by surprise and he had really loved her. But when he started talking about going on a TriState killing spree, I had enough and moved to another car.

Thank god the myriad kids on the train this evening were pretty well behaved. Obviously the parent who got stuck taking the kids in is a regular commuter and knows full well how obnoxious the kids of random non-commuters can be. That was not the case in the morning.

Yes, these were the same commuter parents, but the kids were obviously cranky about being woken up so early on a weekday and having to get more dressed up than they would for grade school or junior high.

Some Japanese guy got on at Maplewood. I didn’t even notice he was standing there in the aisle, because I was buried in my newspaper. He tapped me on the shoulder and motioned to me to move my briefcase. No problem, but he parked his daughter there and stood in the aisle next to us. I was on a two seater, so I was glad he didn’t sit down there himself and park Princess Lotus Blossom on his lap.

1) he really didn’t speak much English, and spoke Japanese to his daughter the whole time

2) he got on the wrong train, and really wanted the midtown-direct

3) he didn’t discover this until after we had pulled out of South Orange, which left him Newark as the only remaining place to change trains

4) Lotus Blossom was charmingly dressed in tights, a dress, dressy kiddie mary-janes, and a cute pink jacket, but she stunk to high heavens like she had just shit in her pants

5) the kid appeared way to old to be wearing diapers (5 or 6), and she didn’t have that big bulgy “diaper bum” that kids who are still wearing them have

6) Emporer Daddy seemed not to notice, but it was really obvious that I wasn’t the only passenger in the vicinity who could smell it. Either he was faking it, or he really had no sense of smell whatsoever

She was squirming around a lot, but I can deal with that if she’s relatively quiet, which she was. But half an hour sitting next to that stench got me to the point where I was just about ready to projectile vomit, which at that time of day would have consisted of coffee. Believe me, if that had happened, it would have not been my lap that would have taken the hit.

I hope the guy had an extra pair of pull-ups or underoos in his briefcase, because I can just imagine what his co-workers must have thought if he let her roam the office all day stinking like that.

FWIW, there is a K-Mart right by Penn Station where he could have bought her a new pair of underwear if he didn’t bring one from home.

GAG!!!

http://www.edmontonsun.com/News/Alberta/2006/04/18/1538651-sun.html

Ok I almost feel sorry for this person last night. However, this was totally his fault. At just before 9PM last night some idiot was sitting on the platform in Newark Penn with his feet dangling over the edge of the platform. So just to clarify his feet were hanging over the tracks. Well wouldn’t you know it, a train came into the station and this person didn’t hear the train until it was too late. Needless to say this person has 2 less legs. It amazes me how STUPID people can be when it comes to a piece of machinery that weighs several hundred tons and can’t just stop on a dime. What’s even worse the damn thing is on tracks. I mean people should know where it’s coming from and what path it is going to go past you. STAY AWAY FROM THE TRACKS!!!! It isn’t that hard. Thanks for listening,

It was a fairly quiet ride until we reached Plainfield. As soon as we left the station I kept hearing a guy in the back of the car shouting out any word or phrase that came to mind. Then he started having a conversation with someone, but I didn’t hear anyone talking back. For a minute I thought it was just a crazy person talking himself, but I turned around to see a group of about 5 or 6 guys acting like fools. They continued with the yelling and cursing, the conductor even walked by once and just glared at them. As I was getting off lucky me had to walk by them and I hear them yell out “DAMN LOOK AT THAT!” Some people are so pathetic..my next Florida vacation is gonna be much longer

To the bimbettes in the Hoboken Terminal PATH station who just can’t handle it that people will brush past you and say Excuse Me during rush hour: Please, please move to rural Kansas if you can’t take the heat. It’s much less crowded there, and I promise, nobody will bump you.

First incident within 2 weeks: Walking on First St. towards Hudson, near the AM New York guy: Bimbo on spiky heels, absentmindedly SWINGING her left arm (I hate that because you take up twice as much space when you do that), holding up the crowd by being slow and spacing out. I PASS (not bump) her on the left, as I’m already late.

From behind, I hear a hiss, “Jesus Christ, watch it, bitch.”

Second incident happened on the train, but not to me. Again, a girl got on the train, and another Britney wannabe was bopping along on her headphones, standing in the line of passage. Entering girl says “Excuse me” and moves on past, after which the bimbette says, “Scuse you! Scuse you!” (because she didn’t hear the Excuse Me). I could hear the guys next to me saying, “She said it, but she wasn’t listening. Why do some people gotta pull an attitude about everything?”

Well said, gentlemen.

Today: Third bimbo, not on spiky heels this time, but with a large backpack. She was buying her ticket, with her bag STICKING OUT into the turnstile space. Myself as well as the guy behind me say Excuse Me, but she doesn’t hear due to her IPOD being plugged into her ears, bopping along.

So we keep walking, BRUSHING (again not bumping) her bag. She turns around, a look of horror on her face, and when I say sorry, yells, ‘JESUS CHRIST, ASSHOLE!”

So I said back, “So move your bag next time. We’re trying to get to work.” And moved on through the turnstile.

Anyone wanna guess that these ladies act the same way in the office?