Making an ass out of you and me
Remember back in school when somehow you learned to remember the spelling of assume by some idiot saying - Don’t assume, you’ll make an ass out of u and me. Assuming things, in general, is one of the worst things to do. It inevitably gets you into a jam one way or another. This applies to when you are on a train talking on your cellphone. If you assume you are the only person in the train car, you will be sad to learn that everyone will know your business. If you assume you are the only person in the train car, you’ll be sad to learn when Ripper is sitting next to you. And most of all, if you assume you are the only person in the train car, you will be VERY sad to learn when Ripper is sitting next to you, without his music and with a keyboard.
So with nothing to do on the train today, a very good friend gave me the idea when I had grumbled something about the person next to me on was on the phone. She said, “Write down every word you hear and try and make it a story”. Brilliant! I will say that it’s very difficult to keep up so I just typed up the main context of one side of the conversation. The other side you ask? Well read below for what I’m assuming to be the other person.
The items in bold is the context of her line. The items not in bold is my interpretation, my assumption, of what the other person said. Viewer discretion is advised (sorry mom). Keep in mind, this isn’t word for word since I was typing and listening on the fly. These are just the highlights.
Right, i went to see him
At what time?
I don’t know
At his house?
I went up to bloomberg.
Oh ok, that’s where Comillo works.
Comillo and I got along.
Yeah I heard that about you.
Where’d he go after bloomberg?
I’m not sure, I thought you would know.
I lost touch after that.
Oh that’s too bad, was he jealous?
He was rolling his eyes
See he’s jealous becase he’s successful.
Comillo runs the customer service group
That’s great. Will you get to see him again?
We’ll have a meeting next week
Are you going to put out?
I don’t know
What about the guy you screwed in that office?
He was his boss
Oh right, he walked in on you.
It doesn’t matter
I can’t imagine what they all said about you there.
I was talking to leo today
The guy taking the pictures there? I thought he had a restraining order against you after you broke his camera?
I walked in by myself
That was bold of you.
Leo said if it gets to much for you, you can go back to the office. Yep That’s the thing if I’m gonna be done by 3. I know i’ll be there later than 2. Comillo will be there at 11.
Are you going to screw the whole floor again? Was that guy Peter still there?
So listen to this. I was talking to mark. Peter came in for an interview.
He must have found out you were coming in.
Right
You rocked his world.
Right
And he, yours.
Mhmm right
Right until all those pictures were uploaded on myspace.
What do you mean?
Like you didn’t see yourself all over the Internet. I don’t know how you trusted them like that with taking the pictures.
Why cuz marks not taking it?
Yeah, you know he wouldn’t share them like that.
Well whatever
They have no respect for you.
I don’t blame them
How can you say that? Aren’t you worried he will get fired?
Then he doesn’t want the job
So you just are in it for the sex? I can’t even respond to that!
That’s really bad not to respond
No what’s really bad is you screwing the entire floor.
It looks really bad?
You think? Don’t you at least ask about them?
So is peter gonna come in for an interview?
I can’t believe you. It’s all you think about. They have no respect for you. I can’t say that enough.
I guess that’s why I don’t see him
Yeah because you are a slut.
Oh
I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you are.
Right
Why don’t you call them right before you go and cancel?
Oh well i’ll be at work so I can’t.
You are so gross.
It’s friday at least.
So? What are you going to do at 4:30 then besides shower?
At 430? That’s late
Why they will be done before then?
Mhmm
I can’t even talk to you anymore. You really are a slut.
I know I know
Goodbye.
There you have it. I sure hope she enjoyed her Friday.
Tags: cell phone, NJ Transit, North East Corridor (NEC), rude commuter, train
January 5th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
Or!! You can start taking notes and then go over to them and say… “You know (insert name if you happened to have caught it), are you aware of exactly how loudly you’re speaking? I’m not sure you want me and everyone else on the train knowing… (start listing all the things the person is talking oh-so-loudly about)
On the bus, that usually gets them to stop talking and put their phone away.
I also generally start my statements to the loud talker with… “Excuse me, but do you plan to be on the phone much longer?” This generally embarrasses the talker and they hang up. But the bus rider is a different breed of commuter than the train rider I’ve learned over time.
Good luck.
January 9th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
That’s outrageous! Our little slice of someone’s train conversation. The people on the train usually talk too friggin’ loud. This document proves that the stereotypes about people at work are TRUE! lol.
Jay www.thesexyarmpit.com
January 12th, 2007 at 5:15 am
Any ideas for when the person next to you is speaking a different language?
Sounds like…
Kfjhgfkjf fjkf jgig ilgkfgjk fkfoi vgopg
January 29th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Here’s another good one to read…
http://www.transithell.com/forum/index.php?topic=80.0
August 29th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
Soundz like wanada brothers from south ave. I talked to this guy who they call the SNIFFER because he sniffs the seats that women sit on. He says that his best freind Paul hates it when people talk about how their boyfreind is better yo boyfreind. On another note; how the guy who gotta play that funky rap music out loud on the train. This guy they call Tony Lover is always doin it. His girl Annandale Mamasan hates it as well. Just ask Lil’ Gary he’ll tell you all about it. Read all about it at ROB.COM
September 4th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
I think that Paul needs to call baby teeth and get his cherry popped.
August 7th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Amtrak photo contest. The nerve! After all the shit we go through in the North East as a result of Amtrak’s train sagas and the delays they cause. Well, make sure you take a picture of an Amtrak train lifeless in the tunnel, (with caption, “Amtrak falls flat on its face”) and submit it for their 2009 calendar.
Does NJT have a train calendar and if so, is there a photo contest? What would an “earlier disabled train” look like for an NJ Transit calendar? The best I can come up with, is picture of an old locomotive, with caption: “No more trips, mercy, I am too old for this, give me a beer and some nuts please!”
National Railroad Passenger Corporation
60 Massachusetts Avenue NE
Washington, DC 20002
www.amtrak.com
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
ATK-08-039
Contact: Media Relations (202) 906-3860
May 12, 2008
Best Photo to be Featured on 2009 Amtrak Calendar
“Picture Our Train” Calendar Contest Begins
WASHINGTON - Calling all shutterbugs! Amtrak’s fifth annual “Picture Our Train” photo contest is underway. Amtrak employees and rail fans are invited to submit their best photograph of an Amtrak train, with the winning image to be featured on Amtrak’s 2009 wall calendar.
Amtrak encourages passengers and train enthusiasts to enter their best shot of Amtrak equipment for the chance to receive a $1,000 travel voucher and a photo credit on the calendar. The four runners-up will receive travel vouchers ranging from $100 to $500.
The calendar contest runs now through July 11. A panel of judges will review each entry and select the best original color photograph featuring a train with the current Amtrak logo and livery visible, or trains displaying Amtrak Acela, Amtrak Cascades, Amtrak California and Amtrak Pacific Surfliner paint scheme. Contestants must submit an 8×10 original photo suitable for enlargement up to 25 inches.
http://www.amtrak.com/servlet/ContentServer?pagename=Amtrak/am2Copy/News_Release_Page&c=am2Copy&cid=1178294152323&ssid=180
November 19th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
SEPTA and New Jersey Transit customer service get-together in the Trenton Transit Center
and
The Trenton Transit Center is in the final stages of a $79 million renovation project bla bla. Grant it, this is a PR, the real renovation money could be “under budget”
The fares will go up no doubt!
Anybody has pictures of this “MacTrenton Transit” Mansion?
http://br.sys-con.com/node/753073
SEPTA to Provide Customer Service Assistance at New Jersey’s Trenton Transit Center
PHILADELPHIA, Nov. 18 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ — In an effort to provide improved customer service and seamless transfers between transit agencies, SEPTA customer service representatives will be at the new Trenton Transit Center this holiday season — supplementing NJ TRANSIT and Amtrak services.
The endeavor is part of SEPTA general manager Joe Casey’s overall commitment to enhance customer service and communications, especially for new riders.
SEPTA’s presence in New Jersey will also provide additional help for passengers traveling on the day before and after Thanksgiving, which traditionally are viewed as the busiest travel days of the year. People going to work, leisure travelers, as well as for those using public transit for the first time are also expected to benefit from the additional assistance.
During the holiday season, representatives from SEPTA’s Customer Service Department will be in Trenton from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. on:
Saturdays and Sundays from November 22 through January 4
Wednesday, November 26 — Thanksgiving eve
Friday, November 28 — Big Friday
Employees from SEPTA and NJ TRANSIT are currently attending training sessions to familiarize themselves with each other’s services.
The representatives will be trained to provide information, assistance and directions for the more than 1,600 weekend passengers who use SEPTA’s R7 Trenton Line to connect to NJ TRANSIT service for travel to and from New Jersey destinations and New York City. SEPTA recently added new late-night service on the R7 Trenton Line providing passengers with additional travel options to and from New Jersey and beyond on Friday and Saturday evenings.
In addition to this new customer service endeavor, SEPTA has in recent months posted online surveys on its website to encourage customer feedback and has established bi-weekly on-site sessions with riders at stations as a means to share information and improve customer satisfaction.
The Trenton Transit Center is in the final stages of a $79 million renovation project which includes new entrances from Raul Wallenberg and South Clinton avenues. Customer benefits include more spacious seating and ticketing areas, an enhanced Walnut Avenue entrance complete with its own waiting room, restrooms and more retail services. The station also provides round-the-clock uniformed police presence coupled with security cameras through out the facility.
SEPTA service information is available online at SEPTA.org or by telephoning the SEPTA Customer Service Department at 215-580-7800. Additional information on NJ TRANSIT is also available online at NJTRANSIT.com
SOURCE SEPTA
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