Once upon a time, I had all these products for sale but took them offline for a while.  I’m glad to announce the store is back open.  I’m extremely bummed that they don’t make the license plate frame anymore!  I will say that I sold one of those (no, not to myself).  So in the great state of NJ, there is a TransitHell.com license plate frame.  Not even I have one!

You can order all sorts of goodies with the fantastic Transithell.com logo on them.  Apparel, housewares, stickers and magnets and even baby gear!

Take a look around.  I hope you find something you’ll enjoy and wear proudly as a commuter at the Transithell.com Store.  

It started as a once in a while thing mainly reserved for the first two rows in the main lot where traffic is the worst. I’ve noticed it increasing and it is spreading like a virus. It is now impacting my commute adding precious minutes to it.

People are backing into their spots into Jersey Ave.

I honestly can’t see the reason for this unless you are in the first two rows in the main lot and are trying to avoid the traffic. It’s everywhere now though. In the back where the track is, in the standard rows, I’ve even seen it in the secondary lot. WTF People?

So here is my morning- I wait in traffic to get into the main lot. I turn down either the third or forth isle and get stuck waiting some more. Some idiot is backing in. Usually this is a 3 try process. They almost NEVER get it on the first try. I get to sit there as I watch the familiar in and out of the parking challenged. I wait for my first chance to floor it and sneak around the car until I get about 15 feet and another idiot is backing in.

My favorite people are the ones against the back row because GOD KNOWS how much traffic is there to warrant a back in. (I’m being sarcastic if you couldn’t grasp that)

Even better? The person that passes their desired spot then decides to reverse a bit before backing in. Then *I* have to reverse to let them through. This gets even more exciting when there is also someone behind me. Usually, I just don’t move and wait for them to get frustrated and go find another spot.

Am I missing something? Do you get bonus minutes on the commute home backing in?

I’ve spent the better part of the past 5 months without a commute into NYC. Since I’m between offices in NY, NJ and my house, I find that when I do commute, I’m carrying my life with me. When I was commuting full time, I did my best to not carry much with me for the commute. I would only have a laptop with me if I knew I had to do something on the train or if I was travelling the next day. I’d have my music in my pocket and something to read in my hand. That’s about it. For commuting, it’s better this arrangement rather than something from my pocket in my hand. Just sayin…

Now that I’m only going in once every other week or so, I’ve noticed certain things. What I’d like to focus on for this post is the incredible lack of regard people have for their own bag. This goes beyond those who are unfortunate to have an aisle seat and pummeled by the people walking through the train. Just the other day, I was minding my own business on the morning commute in my inner two-sy. This guy next to me got up at Newark to get off. Of course, he had to stand up as we approached the station to get himself ready. The aisle was standing room only so this guy really had nowhere to go until the train pulled in and people started to de-train.

Picture his movement. He stands up and reaches down to pick up his bag off the floor. We are in the rear of the train so he’s going to get off behind us and therefore needs to turn around. Keep in mind though, the aisle is full so he has to do a 180 confined to his space in the twosy … with a bag. Can you see where this is going? Yeah, right into my shoulder. So now he’s standing there, facing the back of the seat, waiting for the train to stop so the aisle clears and as the train sways, his bag is hitting me in the shoulder. I looked up at him and he happened to look at him. I have him the “Can you get your stank ass piece of shit bag off of me?” look and he actually did. He moved it to the other side of him to rest against the person in the aisle. Hey, it wasn’t me so what did I care? The point is, even though he stopped pissing me off, he didn’t address the issue which is how to properly carry a bag.

Most people just don’t understand that a bag is an extension of themselves. You shouldn’t put your bag where you wouldn’t put your limb such as on my shoulder. There are violations of this everywhere. When you walk down the stairs to a crowded platform, bags are always in the way, getting caught and disrupting the stream of people. The off the shoulder walkers need to understand that the bag adds an extra foot onto the side of their bodies. This means that their symmetry is off and they will bump people if they aren’t paying attention. You well know, most don’t.

I will say that we do have another fellow commuter who does know how to handle her bag in public. She’s talked about it on her own blog. You know her here as TrescaGirl and I’d like to introduce her as a guest blogger (If anyone is interested in an account here, let me know). Look for new posts from her here in the near future.

Welcome, TrescaGirl!

So yesterday was the last day of full time NJ Transit commuting (for this period of my life…I know Yellowbird expects me back). I’d have to say I’m still kind of numb about it. It really hasn’t set in yet. Since I’m keeping my same job, there isn’t really closure of switching jobs. I packed up my office yesterday as if I was leaving. I threw out a lot of crap, gave away more crap and turned in my key. Even as I sit here now, I don’t feel any different. Like that first drop of a huge rollercoaster, you can only anticipate so much but all you can do is wait until you are immersed in the free fall before you truly know what it feels like. That’s what I picture this week to be like.

My thoughts are scattered right now since I have so much to say. Let’s start with the obvious. My NJ Transit commuting experience for my last day. Both going in and coming home were plagued with delays. Going in, there was a dead train in New Brunswick. I think the train arrived somewhere around 45 minutes late. Coming home also had its share of delays. I don’t even remember how long those delays were. Maybe 20 minutes? This past week while riding the rails, my thoughts were elsewhere way beyond the shitty tin can that I was sitting in - ABCD.

Over the past 4 years on this site, there’s been countless discussions about fare collection. I had a minor dilemma since yesterday was February 1st. My afternoon train wasn’t covered by a monthly ticket. I purchased my one way, non peak fare in the morning as I prepared to ride my last train as another tourist. Ironically enough, my last day, there wasn’t a conductor in sight on the 6:13 NEC train and I got to ride for free. Perhaps that was just NJ Transit’s appreciation for all my service. I’ve posted a picture of that ticket.

In thinking about the time I’ve spent on the actual train (which can probably be increased by a good 15% because of the delays), I put together some figures. They are disturbing.

Approximate times commuting:

1997: 3 months from New Brunswick (55 minutes & $180 - I think)
1997 - 2000: 31 months from Metropark (40 minutes & $135 - I think)
2000 - 2001: 19 months on the PATH (non included here)
2001 - 2008: 76 months from Jersey Ave (60 minutes & $250 - average since the rates went up)

Of course you double it because those are 1 way figures and then approximate 20 days a month and this turns into a total of 3,976 hours ON the train. This is the equivalent of 165 days of my life sitting next to germ infested, nose picking, hygiene neglecting, cellphone talking, close sitting, space violating strangers. It’s like a 6 month prison sentence dragged out over 10 years. To make this worse, this has cost me $23,000. Hopefully this doesn’t depress others too much. I know there’s a lot of people who have taken the train longer than me.

Another interesting thing that happened on my commute that was an interesting coincidence. I would always buy my metrocard in $40 bulks. At somepoint on my current card, I took a PATH train trip so I had a miscellaneous 50 cents on there. My last swipe at the MTA turnstile on Friday night left me with exactly a 50 cent balance. I thought that was quite fitting. Going out the way I started.

So there you have it. Another chapter in my life closed. I’ll certainly be reporting on what it’s like to have 4 hours of my life back on a daily basis. I wanted to thank everyone who has contributed to the 5,000+ comments on the site. It was also fun to have people trying to find me over the years. For those of you who did, nice work. Since NJ Transit sucks as much as ever, I’m sure there will be no shortage of content for the website come this Monday.

Good luck commuting everyone.

Those of us who are part of the commuting subculture always feel like the underdog that can’t catch a break. Every day, two times, we are at the mercy of the highways, public transportation systems and the countless thousands of other drones who are all trying to keep us down. Drivers, walkers, train passengers…you name it. I’ve spent many of days jealous of those who didn’t have to deal with the dastardly commute. We all have. Day in and day out, I hear the comments:

“You are crazy to do this every day?”
“Why don’t you move?”
“Why don’t you get a job closer to home?”

And the list goes on and on (Much like the Electronica song of the same title by Mannix Lee).

For the better part of 10 years, with the exception of a little stint on the PATH train from Jersey City, I’ve been subject to having to be at the mercy of NJ Transit. My current commute over the past 6.5 years has taken me 2 hours commuting from Jersey Avenue to NY Penn Station and back. 4 action packed hours a day. 20 hours a week. A voluntary part time job that I pay $263 a month for. Those of you who have read my posts certainly know all the things that I have complained about since I started the website in 2004. The primary focus started with a way to vent about commuting. Not so much about the transit system itself, but the other humans that make our daily commutes more miserable then they really need to be. Of course, it’s hard to overlook the fact that NJ Transit continues to suck more and more each day and that’s always a very popular subject on the website. I haven’t been shy in talking about the people who smell, the fat people who take up too much space, the ass-water that NJ Transit dumps on the tracks. The delays that plague NJ Transit. The rude people who insist on screaming into their cell phones as if it’s 1997 when you had to do that.

Again, the list goes on and on.

I was thinking about the 2 hours each way and the theme of the great underdog. Of course, movies are about that length and don’t we always root for the great underdog? A few titles pop into my mind when I think of the great underdog in theatrical storytelling. I’d like to take a look at a few of them and summarize them in commuting terms. Yes, I swear there is a reason for this…keep with me.

The Karate Kid—Young Daniel-san has trouble commuting with his bike and tumbles down a giant hill (with the help of his ‘friends’). While tossing his bike around, he has a meltdown to his Mommy….”I just wanna go home,” he sobs (back to Newark?!?). Of course, this is the turning point of the movie and Mr. Miyagi then takes Daniel-san under his broken English wing and within an hour, he gives him - courage, respect, the chick…everything. Did you notice how nobody questioned when Mr. Miyagi warms his hands up and fondles a teen age boy? I guess it’s ok when the teenage boy was really like 24.

Rocky 4—In this 4th installment, Rocky, after his longtime friend Apollo Creed dies in his arms, decides to fight the Russian stud - Ivan Drago (he had the coolest hair of 1985). His own wife screams that he can’t win. After flying to Russia to train, he’s assigned Russian security detail to follow him anywhere he goes. One training session, with the Training Montage by Vince Dicola playing, Rocky outruns his security detail who aren’t able to keep up on the snowy roads in their car. You knew then, and only then, that Rocky was going to win (no, you really didn’t believe it before this point).

The Shawshank Redemption—Let’s focus here at the end of the movie. Red’s friend Andy was long gone, having escaped from prison. He’s given up on ever being freed then he surprisingly is granted parole. It’s hard for him on the outside and you really think he’s going to do what Brooks did and end his life. Instead, he buys a bus ticket to Fort Hancock, Texas, breaks parole and he takes that journey. He travels far enough to meet up with his old friend, Andy. All because he had hope … and public transportation.

Police Academy—Mahoney never wanted to be a police officer. He was doing everything possible to be thrown out of the police academy. As a matter of fact, he was thrown out. However, because of a carelessly thrown apple, a citywide riot breaks out (Free TV’s!!). 100% believable. Mahoney of course, saves the day and becomes a police officer. This really doesn’t have a commuter plot other than the patrol car Cadet Fackler was in while tossing the apple. but I just had to include it. Besides, it was quite hysterical to see Punky Brewster’s foster dad get a blow job at a podium from a hooker.

So what have we reflected on here? The underdog can and does, in fact, win.

I, my friends, have won, too.

After putting up with my commute for all these years, I’ve transferred my office to a new location we own through an acquisition. My once was 2 hour commute to NYC will become an 11 mile drive on 2 roads - not even highways. No more NJ Transit. No more MTA. No more NYC. I’m still in complete shock since it fully hasn’t set in yet. My January monthly will expire and I’ll be finished, much like the careers of Dolph Lundgren and Ralph Macchio.

I’ll certainly be shifting my rage from the rails to the roads so I’ll definitely still be active in the website but in another capacity. For all of you who have tried to find me, looks like your days of spotting me on the train are down to a few more.

Who knew that our planned gathering (which we will still have) will turn into a quasi-going away party. I certainly wish everyone as much luck in their future to not have to carry the burden of commuting via NJ Transit (or any public transportation).

Halle- fucking - luiah

Ripper

When I first saw this NJ Transit “Customer Satisfaction Survey” survey, I knew for a fact that I would be able to take it and make a complete mockery of it. What I wasn’t sure though is how exactly I was going to do such a thing. So many possibilities and so little time. So here’s my approach of this long article. Settle in because it might get a little bumpy:

1) Take the current NJ Transit “Customer Satisfaction Survey” on njtransit.com
2) Save my answers
3) Look up my saved “NJ Transit Passenger Survey” from Junish 2005
4) Do some comparisons
5) Make fun of this horseshit attempt of satisfying the customers

For those who never saw this, take a look here to review my results and analysis of the “NJ Transit Passenger Survey” of 2005. In this survey, we were asked 44 total questions and what I did was comment on all of them and assign a point value of what I thought were valuable questions where NJ Transit could take that feedback and actually do something to improve our lives. What I determined was that 87% of the questions were absolutely useless for us passengers. You can read it for yourself to get a better perspective of what I am talking about. Ultimately, my ending was this:

… Nowhere did you ask me if you thought security at my train station was adequate, if the bathrooms on the trains worked (not that I’d ever go in them), if the conditions of the trains were suitable, if the climate on the train was to my liking or if I would pay for internet access aboard the train. You weren’t looking to improve customer satisfaction based on this “Passenger Survey”. If you were, you need to try a lot harder to convince me you care or will do anything with any of those answers to improve my commuting experience.

Ok, so let’s see our new set of questions, shall we?

Here’s the intro to the NJ Transit “Customer Satisfaction Survey”. Ok, already a flag. Why change the name from “NJ Transit Passenger Survey”? To me, “Customer Satisfaction Survey” means let’s ask questions (survey) to see how satisfied (Satisfaction) my customers (you get the point) are. I’ve digressed already and haven’t even started. Ok, so here’s the intro:

Our goal is to make NJ TRANSIT bus, rail and light rail your preferred choice for travel. Please fill out this short survey between July 9 and July 22. Your responses will help us make informed decisions to improve your travel experience.

Ok, you know me and I can’t keep my mouth shut for a moment. Read how this is worded. Our goal is to make NJ Transit … your preferred choice for travel. Translations - We need to suck less than your other options. For the majority of the people that take NJ Transit (I’d argue go to NYC), the choices are:

1) Take a train or bus - Direct line without traffic
2) Drive - There’s only one thing worse than NJ roads and that’s NJ hair
3) Walk - Ok, yeah I’m getting silly now
4) Bike - Do they have bike lanes in the tunnels? I suppose you would choke to death from fumes
5) Boat - Some people do this from the Atlantic Highlands and Perth/South Amboy. Probably a good deal but not very suitable for the masses
6) Helicopter - Ripper’s got some bling but not this much.

Ok, there are the options. It’s pretty easy to suck less than the competition. I’d probably take the train if it didn’t have a roof and I had to hold onto straps so I didn’t fly off. It doesn’t mean I enjoy it. Anyway, this is a nice start to the survey with some good PR spin.

Here are the questions I answered with my answers and some commentary. I didn’t bother with the points system since you’ll see two years later, NJ Transit still asks dumb questions that have nothing to do with customer satisfaction. As a matter of fact, I’d argue that the attempt in 2005 was a bit more together in terms of appearing to care. This one is pretty obvious. See for yourself.

1. Please select the NJ TRANSIT service you travel on most frequently:
Rail (Choooo choooo)
2. What Rail Line do you most frequently ride?
North East Corridor (we brake for Amtrak)
3. When do you typically travel?
Weekday peak (6 AM - 10 AM & 4 PM - 7 PM)
4. What is your most frequent destination Station?
NY Penn Station (You know this by my monthly)
5. How often do you make this trip?
4 or more times a week (Again, monthly boy here)
6. What is the main purpose of your most frequent trip?
Work (I loved the Casino visit choice)
7. What type of ticket do you typically use?
Monthly (ahha! You didn’t know)
8. For your typical trip, do you transfer to another mode or transit service?
Yes (Why should you care?)
9. For your typical trip, which of the following modes or transit services do you transfer to/from?
Please select all that apply… Other (Subway I think this is what they are asking? This really confused me)
10. Please rate your satisfaction on the QUALITY OF YOUR TRANSFER…
Quality of Transfer -0 (WTF does this mean?)
11. Please rate your satisfaction on the following attributes for the NJ TRANSIT Service you use most frequently. If any of the service attributes below do not apply to you, please leave that row blank. 0=NOT ACCEPTABLE; 5=ACCEPTABLE; 10=EXCELLENT (HAHAHA Notice I was able to crop off the 9’s and 10’s? In all fairness, this was the most useful part of it. Notice the high scores):

12. What is your overall satisfaction with NJ TRANSIT?
0=Not Acceptable 5=Acceptable 10=Excellent 0 (Didn’t you get the hint yet? You need me to really say it? Fine.)
13. Among the attributes of NJ TRANSIT service you just rated, please tell us the top three attributes most important to you, by selecting the attributes from the drop down menu in the boxes below. If you would like to add an attribute of service that is important to you, but is not listed, please select “Other” at the bottom of the choices and specify in the box on the following page.
a. On Time Performance
b. Seating Availability
c. Fares

14. How important is it to you to be able to conduct the following activities while riding NJ TRANSIT? (This was kind of an odd question, no? Can you really do anything else while sitting on a tin can? Maybe masturbate? Why not ask that?)

15. Are you … ?
Male
16. What is your age?
25 - 34 years
17. Are you of Spanish/Hispanic/Latino origin?
No (I said that in spanish too)
18. What is your race?
White
19. What is your occupation?
Manager/Professional
20. What is your approximate annual household income?
$150,000-$199,999 (Ripper still has bling)
21. Thank you for filling out the survey. If you would like to enter our drawing for an opportunity to win A FREE NJ TRANSIT MONTHLY BUS, RAIL, OR LIGHT RAIL PASS FOR THE DESTINATION OF YOUR CHOICE, please provide us your name, address, phone numbers and email address: Would you like to enter our drawing?
No ( I’ll let someone else get this ‘prize’. I love the ending PR spin too. Destination of your choice as if you are winning a trip to Hawaii or something.

So there you have it folks. That’s the best NJ Transit can do. Meanwhile, service I’d argue is at an all-time low. Seriously, I can’t go 3 days without one of my trains being late. The double decker smoke and mirrors is at an all time high. It was all the talk of NJ in 2006. We were getting new 30 year old technology. Let’s make a big deal out of it. So for 6 months, there’s one fucking train in service. One. Like 75 press releases about this. Then, last week….they add another! Two! Yay. What a relief. I ride the train every miserable weekday and I’ve SEEN (not rode) a double decker at most 5 times. Service alerts are a complete joke. Often I get them 20 minutes after a problem and they are full of brokn engrish and speling mystackes. Conductors are not collecting fares. Passengers are unsafe riding in vestibules and in aisles. One day one of these trains is going to fly off the tracks and it’s not going to be pretty.

Seriously, someone needs to really wake up and fix this disaster. Stop wasting money on these survey’s and just read this website. Take a look in the forums. There are very vocal people complaining about what’s really wrong. It’s free for you to use to make improvements. Please. We’re begging you.

I’m at a loss for words right about now. Say what you want about NJ Transit and how they blame Amtrak for everything under the sun that happens. I won’t complain about that anymore because I’ve done my share of complaining on this subject (Point fingers all you want…us commuters have one finger we’d like to point).

NJ Transit is a FUCKING disgrace. Period. A little harsh? Let me lay out the facts of tonight’s commute, shall I? You be the judge.

First off, let me just run a simple test. You’ll see why I need to do this in a few moments. I’m sending a test e-mail from my yahoo.com account to my transithell.com just to see how long it takes. Under 1 minute. OK. Benchmark set.

Here’s where it all started tonight:

Due to Amtrak signal problem, trains departing and arriving NYPS are subject to 10 - 15 minute delays.

Sent: 04:32 PM (Received at 4:41 PM)

I’m still at work at this point. Doesn’t at all seem that bad. Signal troubles these days are as common as Lindsay Lohan arrests. I got to Penn Station at 6:08 or so, just in time for my 6:13 train. As I walk down from the 7^th Avenue entrance, I see the first board with the timetable and 5 trains on standby. This will be another fun night I think to myself. As I walk by the newer NJ Transit concourse, it looks like this picture (courtesy of RVL_Girl). See, here’s the funny thing. This was taken on Tuesday. See, I wasn’t kidding how common delays are. I mean seriously. Imagine there was an emergency?

So I continue on my way down to the old NJ Transit waiting area and go down the stairs. It’s just wall to wall people. No idea if there is air on in the place because it feels and smells like a 3^rd world country.

Due to a disabled train in the tunnel, trains arriving into New York Penn Station are subject to 15 - 20 minute delays.

Sent: 06:04 PM (Received at 6:18 PM)

Ok, so was the first communication wrong in saying signal problems? Did the signal problems cause the disabled train? All I know is that disabled trains in tunnels is BAD news for us commuters. 2 tunnels. 1 out of service. You do the math. So here I am and there goes the 6:13 train. Cancelled.

Next up, the 6:34.

Update: Due to single tracking in the tunnel, trains arriving and departing NYPS are subject to 20 - 30 minute delays.

Sent: 06:22 PM (Received at 7:22 PM) - Are you seeing a pattern here?

No word on the cancelled train. There were others too. All I know is we are up to 30 minutes and seriously, my shirt was stuck to my back at this point.

Update: Due to single tracking in the tunnel, trains arriving and departing NYPS are subject to 30 - 40 minute delays.

Sent: 06:41 PM (Received at 7:38) – See these are useless because I’m not even getting these when they are needed.

Northeast Corridor #3973 (6:13pm from NYPS) Operating 25 minutes late near Secaucus.

Sent: 06:51 PM (Received at 7:38)

Huh?? The 6:13 train is 25 minutes late (getting out my calculator) puts us at 6:38. This was sent at 6:51. Either way, YOU ALREADY CANCELLED THE TRAIN like 40 minutes ago. Now I’m looking around for the candid cameras. Someone must be putting me on.

Northeast Corridor #3731 (6:32pm from NYPS) Operating 40 minutes late near Secaucus.

Sent: 06:53 PM (Received at 7:38)

Now I don’t even know what’s going on. All I know is I now have a decision in all of this fiasco. I can take the 6:32 or the 6:34. The 6:34 is the express train that would get me in sooner than the 6:34 (Yes, NJ Transit makes everything really complicated). Since the 6:13 was cancelled and the announcements in the station were only saying 10-15 minute delays, I figured that the 6:34 would be crowded but was still my best horse. The 6:32 is called (honestly, I have NO idea what time it is. I was about to have a heat stroke). I let the crowd rush to that train and I wait for the 6:34.

Northeast Corridor #3975 (6:34pm from NYPS) Cancelled, passengers to #3875 (6:47pm).

Sent: 07:17 PM (Received at 7:41)

Ripper, you asshole.

Update: Due to single tracking in the tunnel, trains arriving and departing NYPS are subject to 10 - 15 minute delays.

Sent: 07:22 PM (Received at 8:31)

It continues.

Northeast Corridor #3877 (7:13pm from NYPS) Operating 20 minutes late.

Sent: 07:49 PM (Received at 9:04)

I think I’m only subscribed to the NEC train messages. I can’t imagine what the other ones said. I’m sure they were just as comical because there was a bunch of trains cancelled. I had finally gotten on the 6:47 train that left at like 7:15 or something.

So, after all that, let’s recap what we’ve learned (outside of Amtrak being at fault for everything under the sun at NJ Transit):

1) NJ Transit communicates worse than if someone was trying to tell me the truth in Russian (for the record, I can’t speak Russian).

2) NJ Transit alerts are pretty damn useless because you don’t get them for like an hour after they send them which is like 20 minutes after the actual problem which is like 30 minutes after they cancel a train. (Yeah, I can’t even follow that either. Don’t bother going back. You’ll only hurt yourself).

3) After all this, yet again, nobody collected tickets on my train (I was on the 6:47, which left at like 7:15.

4) Someone who left work less than 2 hours before me got home before me. Big deal you say? Sure, he left before me. He lives in New Hampshire.

5) I have NO confidence that the employees of NJ Transit could handle an emergency.

Seriously. This was half the commute today. Thousands of people were yet again delayed for long periods of time tonight. Keep blaming Amtrak for signals and infrastructure. Why can’t you send e-mails? Why can’t you make announcements? Why can’t you get things right? Please? Just once. I’m begging someone to fix this.